Mary, Mary: A Fashion Drop-out

Alexa, a friend of my daughter’s, posted something about wanting everything in the collection of a hot new designer partnering with Target. I give her bonus points for at least picking a ‘cheap’ designer. If you were to meet Alexa, what she was wearing would be the last thing you’d remember about her.

Most of us are guilty of spending too much on clothes. If I could get all the money back I spent on apparel for me and the kids, I’d not need to look for a job (and I could stay home in my sweats!). Women usually love what they buy- but hate 2/3s of what’s in their closet, hmmm. Have I ever mentioned that our house had zero closets when we moved in, my house was telling me something…

I did some research on fashion… and when I say ‘research’ my son will immediately know I went ‘googling quotes’. Found some good stuff, food for thought at the very least. I love this story about Albert Einstein; When Albert’s wife asked him to change his clothes because the German Ambassador was coming over to meet him, he said, “if they want to see me, here I am. If they want to see my clothes, open up my closet and show them my suits”. Einstein was said to have worn a T-shirt and a rope to hold his pants up. We all know how much effort he put into combing his hair 😉

My preferred uniform for the day doesn’t include a rope belt, but a drawstring inside my sweats. The designer of that was brilliant! It saves so much time not having to zip, button, fasten etc… And, one size fits most. If you were to look in our laundry basket you would think that gray is our favorite color (it goes with everything!). Lance is a little pickier about his shirts, they must, must, MUST have a pocket (aka-a nerd pocket, sans the protector). His fashion sense works for me, in my humble opinion, he is the handsomest man over 25.5.

While on the subject of men, they’re a little wiser when it comes to purchasing clothes. I think this is due in part to their fashions not changing every season as it seems to for women. There is this one manly custom that boggles my brain. This quote says it better than I can:

If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

Linda Ellerbie

Granted, he does look quite happy, but we were at his cousin’s wedding where there were good eats and free beer. If he never wore a tie again, I’d be most happy for him (and I’ll always have this photo).

Yesterday, as this fashion drop-out was hiking back from the daily mailbox jaunt, I encountered a lady dressed all fancy-smancy in her paisley spandex, attempting to jog on the icy gravel road. My initial response was one of excitement; ‘YaY, a health-minded lady out here in the boonies!’ Maybe she’d like to be my new walking buddy. She stopped to ask me if I’d seen her purple iPod on the road. I spent some time trying to help her find it. It was clear she didn’t have interest in being buddies with me, sniffff. As I left her (still searching for her tunes) I thought about how I must have appeared like some backwoods dowager. My muddy boots, sweatpants stained with dog paw marks topped off with Lance’s old jacket that is decorated with paint colors from our last 3 houses. I must have looked like a homeless-hobo. She did me a favor by immediately nixing me as a possible friend candidate because of her first impression of me.

Even in the mid 1800s, scholars saw how silly it all is, then as today:

Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.

Henry David Thoreau

Moral of my story (more for me than for my readers). Save your efforts and your money. Find something that works and stick with it year after year. Remember how no one would tell the emperor he had no clothes on? Do you think your friends will tell you how silly you look in your latest designer purchase?